Wow, how time flies but seems to stand still at the same time...it has been 3 months since my last post and life has changed immensely. You have grown by leaps and bounds and it's incredible what you can do in such a short life, already! Everyone says it about their babies but you really are very smart for your little 3 months on this Earth.
Your personality is HUGE and you are such a delight to all you touch! Those huge smiles, cackle outbursts, and slobbery kisses are what we all live for! I loved slobbery kisses from your mommy and Aunt Bee but nothing compares to you and your sweetness..." my little angel baby".
Shane, the announcement of your birth came at a time in all our lives at a time which was that of incredible pain yet somehow knowing you were coming made it worthwhile to work through knowing life was going to so much better soon just with your presence! Now, 3 months later, life couldn't be much better! You have taken Grandy and Papa (great-grandparents) who were sick, in pain, and pretty down and made their life full of smiles and pleasure. Just the sheer glance of you brings such beautiful smiles to their faces and their eyes light up as if there were neon lights behind them. Your mommy had a horribly rough year but you have given her hope, love, and courage which she never knew she had. She is so very proud of you and loves you beyond words or expression. She is working but only 3 hours a day in order to be home with you and watch you grow and be there when you need her...either Grandy or Gigi is there while mommy is gone to work and when one of us can't there is your precious Aunt Bee who thinks you hung the moon on September 13th, 2010...your Granddad even loves watching...it is definitely a family effort! Let's not forget Aunt Karen who cannot get enough of you!!! She begs your mommy to go out and bring you to her to spend the night...just a couple of hours just isn't enough for her! My point is that you took broken, tired family and made them so happy...thank you for just being an amazing little being!
Baby boy, in giving you the most precious life your mommy can give you, she has now joined Gateway Church and is taking you every Sunday. She is about to start giving her own testimony of how you came to be in the group she was in, Embrace Grace, to the new group of mommies beginning this month on their own endeavor into finding the grace of God. The Lord has been so loving and kind to mommy and to Gigi...Gateway has been one of the most amazing blessings in our lives. You will grow up there and see how love abounds when you live for the Lord!
It's 5:20 AM and you are asleep on my bed with Miss Spider and the Sunny Patch Kids playing in the background...glancing over at you makes me light up and feel such internal warmth! I thank God each and every day for you and cannot imagine life without your little self in it!
There will come a day when you ask about the man who is your father but it has to be the
right time. Even adults don't always know when the right time is or will be. It is so hard to tell someone you love so much (you in this case) a story that is painful. This story will be especially hard for your mommy to tell you, to know when to tell you or how to tell you. She knows it will probably be hard for you to hear. Your family loves your mommy and you so much that it is hard to know that day will come. We have to wait for her to decide...we can't tell you such an important part of your life. She has the story and how she wants to tell you. I hope when that day comes, you will know how hard it has been on her, too.
Once you know about that man, I would like you to know what your family knows about him and why we are so glad you are not in his life.
Here is what your family would like you to know...
You have not met the man who is your father yet but his name is Rex William Cross, Jr., and goes by the name of JR. Your mommy loved him very much but he didn't love her like she thought he did. She found that out when she told him they were going to have a baby. He said he did not want to be a husband or father. He told your mommy to move back home to her family. She realized she had to do just that. JR was not the right man to be your daddy. He was very mean to her...she deserved better and you really didn't deserve someone like him as a dad. Your mommy knew the safest thing for you and her was to leave and divorce him...she knew without a doubt the man you would call Dad when you were older was out there and one day she would meet him and that man would love you and take good care of you...forever.
Always know that you were not ever the reason JR didn't want to be married or have a family with her. He is a selfish man and only wants to think of himself. He was in the Army and if he was married they paid him more money so he asked your mommy to marry him. She thought he meant it and loved her but found out he didn't. He wanted the money the Army would give him if he was married.
I know that your life is in God's hands and He will be with you every day of your life. We just all want you to have the most loved and incredible life anyone has ever had!
I love you, Baby Shane!
Gigi
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