It's Been Three Months and Our Love for you is Amazing!

Wow, how time flies but seems to stand still at the same time...it has been 3 months since my last post and life has changed immensely.  You have grown by leaps and bounds and it's incredible what you can do in such a short life, already! Everyone says it about their babies but you really are very smart for your little 3 months on this Earth.  

Your personality is HUGE and you are such a delight to all you touch!  Those huge smiles, cackle outbursts, and slobbery kisses are what we all live for!  I loved slobbery kisses from your mommy and Aunt Bee but nothing compares to you and your sweetness..." my little angel baby".  

Shane, the announcement of your birth came at a time in all our lives at a time which was that of incredible pain yet somehow knowing you were coming made it worthwhile to work through knowing life was going to so much better soon just with your presence!  Now, 3 months later, life couldn't be much better!  You have taken Grandy and Papa (great-grandparents) who were sick, in pain, and pretty down and made their life full of smiles and pleasure.  Just the sheer glance of you brings such beautiful smiles to their faces and their eyes light up as if there were neon lights behind them.  Your mommy had a horribly rough year but you have given her hope, love, and courage which she never knew she had.  She is so very proud of you and loves you beyond words or expression.  She is working but only 3 hours a day in order to be home with you and watch you grow and be there when you need her...either Grandy or Gigi is there while mommy is gone to work and when one of us can't there is your precious Aunt Bee who thinks you hung the moon on September 13th, 2010...your Granddad even loves watching...it is definitely a family effort! Let's not forget Aunt Karen who cannot get enough of you!!! She begs your mommy to go out and bring you to her to spend the night...just a couple of hours just isn't enough for her!  My point is that you took broken, tired family and made them so happy...thank you for just being an amazing little being!

Baby boy, in giving you the most precious life your mommy can give you, she has now joined Gateway Church and is taking you every Sunday.  She is about to start giving her own testimony of how you came to be in the group she was in, Embrace Grace, to the new group of mommies beginning this month on their own endeavor into finding the grace of God.  The Lord has been so loving and kind to mommy and to Gigi...Gateway has been one of the most amazing blessings in our lives.  You will grow up there and see how love abounds when you live for the Lord!

It's 5:20 AM and you are asleep on my bed with Miss Spider and the Sunny Patch Kids playing in the background...glancing over at you makes me light up and feel such internal warmth!  I thank God each and every day for you and cannot imagine life without your little self in it!

There will come a day when you ask about the man who is your father but it has to be the

right time. Even adults don't always know when the right time is or will be. It is so hard to tell someone you love so much (you in this case) a story that is painful. This story will be especially hard for your mommy to tell you, to know when to tell you or how to tell you. She knows it will probably be hard for you to hear. Your family loves your mommy and you so much that it is hard to know that day will come. We have to wait for her to decide...we can't tell you such an important part of your life. She has the story and how she wants to tell you. I hope when that day comes, you will know how hard it has been on her, too.

Once you know about that man, I would like you to know what your family knows about him and why we are so glad you are not in his life. 

Here is what your family would like you to know...

You have not met the man who is your father yet but his name is Rex William Cross, Jr., and goes by the name of JR. Your mommy loved him very much but he didn't love her like she thought he did. She found that out when she told him they were going to have a baby. He said he did not want to be a husband or father. He told your mommy to move back home to her family. She realized she had to do just that. JR was not the right man to be your daddy. He was very mean to her...she deserved better and you really didn't deserve someone like him as a dad. Your mommy knew the safest thing for you and her was to leave and divorce him...she knew without a doubt the man you would call Dad when you were older was out there and one day she would meet him and that man would love you and take good care of you...forever.

Always know that you were not ever the reason JR didn't want to be married or have a family with her.  He is a selfish man and only wants to think of himself. He was in the Army and if he was married they paid him more money so he asked your mommy to marry him. She thought he meant it and loved her but found out he didn't. He wanted the money the Army would give him if he was married.

I know that your life is in God's hands and He will be with you every day of your life. We just all want you to have the most loved and incredible life anyone has ever had!

I love you, Baby Shane!

Gigi

The Night of Your Birth!

Wow! It's been 20 days since my lost post on here!  It has been beautiful chaos the last few weeks...You were born, came home and we ALL fell in love with you! My monkey is a hit!  Here is how it all happened...

Monday morning, the doctor came in and induced mommy so that you would come on out and join the world.  For the longest time, we were really dis-heartened because though she had many painful contractions, you just weren't quite ready to be born.  About 4:00, Gigi decided to text everyone and let them know that it would be a long wait and not to get into a huge rush to get to the hospital.  Thirty minutes later, the nurse came in and checked on mommy and you had her almost where she needed to be! I panicked and began calling everyone and telling them we had about two hours and that was about it.  Everyone went into hurry mode and made it before you were born! 

We finally got to meet face to face at 8:07 pm, Monday, September 13, 2010! What an amazing evening that was! There are no words to describe the feeling or emotion in the room before and after you were born. 

The doctor decided to let your mommy stay in a "holding pattern" for about an hour and a half for various reasons, one of them being their convenience because it was a busy day, and mommy wasn't hurting thanks to the epidural they gave her.  So about 6:30 they let mommy start pushing. She was amazing the entire pregnanacy but she really showed us what she was made of on this day.  She wanted her privacy so I stayed in the room but in the sitting area with a curtain between us. The nurses tried to get her to let me help but she insisted she wanted to bring you into the world in her way and on her own...just you and her, together. 

 When it was almost time for you to present yourself, mommy had Gigi go get Nana to be there to take your first pictures!  I got her and together we waited behind the, "curtain of oz" as I called it, as she pushed you into our world! While we were waiting for the ultimate moment of your first breath and cries...we prayed together and separately for you and your mommy to be safe and healthy! We held one another's hands and cried together...it was an emotional moment for both of your grandma's. When the doctor had you in his hands, we all wept such tears of happiness! Finally, our baby boy was here, healthy and safe...mommy has healthy and okay!!!

Well, your mommy being who she is which is very independant and determined, the doctor asked Gigi to come cut the cord but mommy spoke up saying she was going to do that. The doctor laughed and told her HE didn't cut cords and neither did mommy's so for Gigi to come on. I started laughing and told the doctor that she really wasn't kidding, so he handed her the scissors and SHE CUT THE CORD!!! Dr. Watson said he had NEVER in thirty years had that happen and laughed!

Gigi and Nana came from behind the "curtain of oz" and got to see you just a moment after you were born! It was incredible...there you were! Right there in front of us to touch, smell, breathe in! Nana began taking pictures of everything that was going on as the nurses buzzed around and the doctor finished taking care of your mommy. She was just smiling and smiling as she layed there waiting on the doctor to finish so she could hold you! Once she got her hands on you...we had to leave and give you and mommy time to really get to meet each other. We went out to the waiting room and told all the family who had been patiently waiting on you that you were here!!! Everyone was so excited that there is just no way to put it into words!

As soon as mommy was through with her alone time with you, the family began to come meet you 2-3 at a time...What a great night for them! There was laughter, tears of joy, huge smiles...you name it!

You weighed 7 lbs 13 oz and were 19-1/2 inches long...gorgeous light brown hair and blue eyes...

That night when it was time for you and mommy to go to your regular hospital room...Gigi got to stay with both of you. THAT was when I held you for the first time! We got to bond that evening as I held you and took you in...It was a magical moment in time that I will never forget and can never be replaced in my heart.  My monkey was here!

Finally at the hospital~

Well, Monkey...Mommy and I are in the hospital now and have been for about 3 hours. They started the IV but she (in true Mommy & Grandaddy fashion) has a rash from it...they moved it and now she has another rash where the new one is! Always something with them...haha. They inserted some cervidil (basically like a really, really thin tampon) that lays against the cervix to stimulate or irritate it to hopefully help soften the cervix so that induction will go easier on Monday. If all else fails, she will have a C-section but I don't know when they would give in and go that route. He just said it was something he was looking at. She just isn't progressing normally. Did we really expect this to be any different than the rest of her health?

The important thing is that she is doing great and so are you! Your little heart is just beating and beating and you are moving around in there, still. I am sitting here in Mommy's room looking at the warmer they will lay you in once you greet us and it brings tears to my eyes...I am going to try, so hard, to be strong for Mommy during this process and NOT CRY!!! She hates it when people get mushy and cry...I will be strong just for her and you! Just knowing you will be in that little bed in a few hours...taking your first breath of life, getting ready to be with Mommy and be her new little man is enough to make me smile so big! It is all coming to fruition.  The last 40 weeks have passed, though sometimes it seemed like they never would, and you are about to enter our lives forever. You are going to change our worlds and we are so ready for it to begin!

I love you, baby boy!
Gigi

Shane is coming soon...

So, mommy went to the doctor today and he told her that if she doesn't go into labor by Sunday at 6PM to go check in the hospital!!!  They are going to do some things to help her dilate and if that doesn't work, they will induce her on Monday...finally!!!  Mommy and Gigi are SOOOO excited and cannot wait until we see your beautiful little self! We have dreamed of this day for so long and now it's within sight!  Mommy is so happy today!

She is re-washing all your blankets and getting everything finalized in your room!  We are still working on Miss Holly and her manners but she is much better and she is going to love you!

Papa has worked so hard on your room by adding a huge (8' x 3') window that slides open 4'...he wanted you to have lots of sun and light! He also did many others things for you and so did Grandy! They are so happy to have a baby coming to the house!

Monkey, we will meet you by Monday! Everyone can't wait!!!!!

Single Mom's "Embrace Grace" ~

Baby boy...your mommy is at her 1st ever meeting for single mommy and mommy's to be...it is a long story of how it came to be but we will just say God sent an angel with a divine intervention!  It was an amazing story and fulfilled something she has been hoping to find.  We will see how she feels when she gets home and how it went but I really pray she will love it, fit right in, grow in the Lord, make new friends so you will have more playmates and learn and experience new adventures.

Mommy and Gigi will go to church here on Sunday and see how we like the sermon and music but so far what we have seen and heard, we both really like!

Monkey, God watches over all His children and is watching over you and mommy already! I pray you walk with him every day of your life and live for the Lord...your life will be full of peace, love, joy and happiness if you do this.  You will know compassion and empathy for others. You will be an even more amazing person that you already are.

Gigi loves you, Monkey!

Never Worry...

Two things heavy on my mind right now...

First, you have the BEST mommy...When you are old enough, you will see and know just how good she is and how much she loved your from before you were ever born. She never gave up and never stopped growing and learning while you were in her tummy! She wanted and will always want what is best for you above all things.

Second, you have a family who loves you more than you will ever be able to comprehend. There are so many of us who are just waiting on you to get here and join us! Monkey, there will always be times in your life that people disappoint you or let you down but you must always know that is part of life and you will become stronger and a better boy/man from going through that experience as long as you learn from other peoples mistakes.  The other thing is that no matter how disappointed or hurt you may feel by someone's actions...there are so many of us to help pick you up and dust you off, if you need and ask for it! The love you will have in your life will be overwhelming and you will always have your family to help and look out for you.

Your mommy and I thought yesterday was the day you might come to meet us but you weren't ready just yet! Soon, though!  We are all counting the hours and hoping they don't go into many more days...we are all so excited!

Shane's Mommy Can't Say "Castor"

Tonight, mommy and I decided it would be a great idea to go to a store and walk around to get YOU motivated to come meet us! On the way, mommy began talking about rather she wanted to take Castor Oil or not. It was the funniest thing...probably a "you had to be there moment" but still...She could NOT say the word castor! It kept coming out castro and the harder she tried the worse it got. Her mouth would make the motions of trying to say the "o" first and then the "r" which is backwards and then she would try to correct it but still...WRONG. I laughed so hard and told he it was like when she was little and couldn't say the word squirrel...no matter how hard to tried to say it correctly, it would still come out so adorably cute...she would say "squeal"...your mommy was so cute any way and when she would say that we would always laugh and have such fun with her! Like I said, probably one of those "had to be there" moments but the point is we had a lot of laughs tonight just like every night.  Though this wasn't the plan, I am so glad you and mommy are with Gigi...you already brighten my day and you aren't even here, yet.

The store mommy and I went to was Joanne's to get some fabric. Mommy found the coolest fleece to make you a blanket which she says will be THE blanket you are attached to...she says she will make sure! It is red and black striped with little white skulls embroidered all over it...it is your pirate blanky and is going to be so awesome!  She also picked out the wooden letters to spell your name on the wall above your bed and the paint to go with them as well as a couple more sports balls to go around them.  She is so excited about getting everything just perfect for you!

Aunt Bee has been so very busy with teaching and school that we haven't seen or talked to her this week. I miss her a lot but I know when you get here...she will always have time in there for you! She is already having dreams about you and her at night...she had a dream the other night that you and she were in the swimming pool and she already had you swimming!  So many things are planned for you!